Asking for Help was the Hardest

I thinking I am going to break up asking for help, the diagnosis and the stay into their own posts. The timeline might jump but I think it is what will flow most naturally for me.

Getting Help:

As a lot of you know I recently got help for what I now know is bi-polar disorder along with some postpartum psychological issues. The hardest part was making that first call; if it wasn’t for the lovely ladies of twitter and my husband I would still be in a very bad spot. I made the call and they chose to send an team out to talk to me right then at 11pm, I guess I must have sounded really bad. I didn’t know this until asking for help, if a team is coming out to asses you they send the police to make sure you are not a danger. So around 11:30 to police cruisers quietly pulled into my neighborhood, and knocked on my door. Which I rushed to hoping they wouldn’t wake up my sleeping children, I think in hindsight I am glad they slept through it all. I think it would have been much harder on all of us if they would have woken up.

This was all going on in the middle of the night. After I got to the hospital and through all the protocols it was 5 am, I had yet to sleep. I got into my room and slept through breakfast.

I will mention again asking for help is hard. If you feel as if you need it don’t be afraid to ask it is there. I will write more when I can. On an sort of disjointed note, I have already had to change meds once. The first meds were $$$, now I feel as if these second meds aren’t as effective. I know that the meds are not a fix all. I just am feeling very uneven again, to a point not to the extreme that I was. I will talk to my doctor tomorrow.