The Musings of a Newly 34 Year Old

I wrote this before my 34th birthday and set it to go live on my birthday, and just realized it didn’t. So I am publishing it now. I am not reading it again. 8/4/2019

So another trip around the sun is wrapping up for me. It has been a kind year, which is unusual for me. Many of my 33 years have been filled with a lot of different kinds of struggles. Mental health being one of my biggest since I was very young. I have talked about those in the past, this post isn’t mainly about them.

What do I hope that 34 has in store for me? Well I would like to meet more of my friends who live in my phone, haha. Since discovering twitter in 2009, I have met some amazing people who have been life changing. 33 lead me to meeting a few and those people were amazing. Those moments were amazing, memories I will cherish forever. I wish Mary Beth and Family didn’t live in hell to me, haha. I don’t think Emily will ever leave hell either though she talks about coming closer. I have plans to travel to meet one more friend and her family this summer, I can’t wait. Other things, I would like to buy a better couch for our living room. Our living room is huge and the one I picked out on wayfair when we moved in is so small. I want to successfully meal plan and cook more, I have let Casey cook for most of the almost 12 years of marriage. I hate cooking, there is a lot of reasons. I want to eat things no one in my house wants to eat but Ollie will try new food and surprisingly eats like the majority. I want to make more meals in our regular plan. I would like to make it thorough the summer with my mental health stable. I did it last summer, that was the first summer in I don’t know how long that I did. I don’t know if it was because it was constant with things going on. That isn’t the plan for this summer. Our family vacation is happening during the end of the school year and my Dad is coming too. I want the boys to have this memory of this trip with their Pop. I would like to take a weekend away with Casey even if we just stay somewhere local, I want to make dates happen more then once a quarter if that. I want to be a better friend, I feel like I have a lot to learn here. I want to be a better spouse. I guess I want to be better, shouldn’t that always be a goal?

So 33 also had a lot of learning and growth plus a smidgen of that adulty stuff. We bought our first home, honestly if you read my archives never thought that would happen. I tackled mount laundry and kept tackling it, the biggest game changer was getting rid of all but two laundry baskets. Okay that isn’t completely honest, that was game changing but the real game changer was I have a vindictive asshole of a cat and when he gets mad pees on clean laundry. So I can’t leave it laying around, thanks Bra’tac. Your being an asshole as lead me to tackle one of my biggest challenges. I have kept my house tidy for a year, like it has had messy moments and floors are dirty sometimes. Overall though, company can stop by and I am not ashamed or shoving shit in closets. Before we moved I hired a junk hauler and if I didn’t want it in this house it didn’t come. Then once we moved in, if we didn’t want/need it, it left. Holy shit people talk about this all the time, but it never clicked. I completed vlogmas on youtube, that may seem lame but I did it and it was a bug deal to me. I finally openly admit that I agnostic, that was a tough one. I struggled for years to accept that. There is more to this story, maybe it will be it’s on post. The biggest one is I realized is that blood doesn’t make someone your family. I have an amazing family that I have made and support me as I am and don’t ask me to not be who I am. You know who you are and I love you.