Everything Awkward
Ian woke up acting as if he was still tired and after a few hours of meltdowns, no listening, and tears. Someone on twitter recommend taking a walk. So off we went. It was meant to be a short jaunt to the park not a 1/4 mile from our house. After we started I couldn’t think of stop that soon. We went to the park about a mile from our house.
We didn’t plan to go that far, I was wearing flip flops and all we have is a sit and stand stroller but it was nice and we all came back in a better mood.
So I told you last week about the first step in making our master bedroom an oasis and not just a catch all. It was just a small simple step but it gave me the drive I needed to start on the second part. I am the queen of starting and not finishing something, so I was amazed at my desire to get my room all put together.
This time it was a shelf with hooks to hang scarves from and to place all those nick nacks people give you. I was lucky enough my Mama had one in her storage unit that she said that I could have and paint.
So after some sanding, figuring out out the right brush, figuring out how to hang the posts. Wow the painting part was easy when I realized it didn’t have brackets to hang it with and I was going to have to go buy and then figure out how to put them on. Which I totally forgot to take a picture of my work there, to prove that I rocked the road block. I got those brackets installed and my awesome shelf up and all those nick nacks that had been down in my living room up on the shelf. If I do say so myself I love how it turned out.
What is a recent roadblock you have over came that you are proud of? Any recent road block.
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I had some disturbing dreams last night, I sat down with all intention of writing about them and instead I have chose to write about my favorite coffee mugs.
These are some of my all time favorites, they hang in my kitchen and are not in the rotation to be used. Please note my Mustache mug is from my parents collection older then I am.
Sadly two of my all time favorites have gotten broken, I once got a Wonder Woman mug and before I could ever use it was broken (I was super excited about this mug) and I once had a mug from Starbucks that was pink and covered with hearts (that Casey broke putting up the dishes once). as I mentioned in a previous post I have loved mugs long before I ever liked coffee. I would beg my mama, to let me drink everything out of mugs.
I will fully admit that I paid more that Yoda mug then I have paid for shoes, I had to have it though. I think I have admitted before of my Love for the Jedi Master.
Sadly this post isn’t even showing you probably a fourth of my mugs, I have almost all teh mugs that came with my fiesta dishes and other odds and ends from through out the years. I also can tell you where almost everyone one of my mugs come from and the story behind it.
I will not tell you every story of every mug, that would take all day and probably bore you all to tears. I needed to write and didn’t want to write about my dreams/fears so instead I right about mugs. How enlighten, eh?
Thanks for bearing with me, I know that running from my dreams isn’t going to fix the feelings. I am going to process more and then tell you about them.
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From impromptu sushi with friends, nights on Northgate, randomly ending up at the tattoo parlor(truly it did happen), to oh my we are lucky enough to have a sitter (my mom so graciously volunteered). What do we do now? The thought of having alone time together stumps us, since we usually have to leave the house there goes the idea of a nice night in. Well this past Friday we were lucky enough to have a night together thanks to my my mom. So we started the night with a little dinner.
That part was easy to figure out, it was what to do with our selves after dinner that got us. We did have the time nor the money to see a movie(when did it start costing so much to see a movie). We then threw out the idea of grocery shopping sans kids but we weren’t really sure of what we did and didn’t need. I don’t know how my love of the dollar store came up in the conversation but it did and we were off to the dollar store.
When we pulled up in the parking lot and saw one of the discount hair cutting places, we both talked of our need for hair cuts. Seeing my chance, I walked in and bravely sat down(the last time I got a hair cut at a place like this, I lost a lot of hair and was given a hair cut I couldn’t handle). Not this time, I was blessed with the luck and got an amazingly trained stylist. Who had the knowledge to train the beast. Casey on the other hand, did not get his cut. He did go back on Sunday with a coupon and got his and Ian’s done.
So what a change from pre-kids/college days, what do you do to keep your Date Nights fun?
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I thinking I am going to break up asking for help, the diagnosis and the stay into their own posts. The timeline might jump but I think it is what will flow most naturally for me.
Getting Help:
As a lot of you know I recently got help for what I now know is bi-polar disorder along with some postpartum psychological issues. The hardest part was making that first call; if it wasn’t for the lovely ladies of twitter and my husband I would still be in a very bad spot. I made the call and they chose to send an team out to talk to me right then at 11pm, I guess I must have sounded really bad. I didn’t know this until asking for help, if a team is coming out to asses you they send the police to make sure you are not a danger. So around 11:30 to police cruisers quietly pulled into my neighborhood, and knocked on my door. Which I rushed to hoping they wouldn’t wake up my sleeping children, I think in hindsight I am glad they slept through it all. I think it would have been much harder on all of us if they would have woken up.
This was all going on in the middle of the night. After I got to the hospital and through all the protocols it was 5 am, I had yet to sleep. I got into my room and slept through breakfast.
I will mention again asking for help is hard. If you feel as if you need it don’t be afraid to ask it is there. I will write more when I can. On an sort of disjointed note, I have already had to change meds once. The first meds were $$$, now I feel as if these second meds aren’t as effective. I know that the meds are not a fix all. I just am feeling very uneven again, to a point not to the extreme that I was. I will talk to my doctor tomorrow.
I am the type of girl who heals when life, begins to return to normally. Today let the healing begin, Casey returned to work. Ian and I were left alone for the first time in almost a week. I thought it would be tough to be left alone, it was the opposite it was in a moment today when playing that I realized that returning to normal was what I need. I got so many calls yesterday and today asking me to go and do with friends and family. I told them all that I needed to stay home with Ian today, he needed it as much as I did. I swear when he woke up this morning, he breathed a sigh of relief to see we were alone. We had breakfast played and napped just like any other day. Who knows what tomorrow will hold for us, for me but one day at a time is the motto.
My Dad is coming to go to lunch with Ian and I tomorrow that isn’t normal, in the 3 years we have lived in this area I can count on one hand the number of times he has been out here(that is okay with me my home is never up to his standards). I am glad he is coming to visit Ian loves his Pop and doesn’t see him enough(I love my Daddy and don’t get to see him enough). So as time marches on and the pain lessens (the memories fade from bright red that it is today to a more manageable shade of grey.)
Don’t miss any of my adventures of being a Grown up?
Awkward Club 
